How many sessions will I need?
There is no set number of sessions as everyone is different and has varying needs. The time spent in counselling very much depends on you and your requirements. Some people only have 3 or 4 sessions, whilst others have 10 or more. Most commonly, people generally have between 10 - 12 sessions. These are normally weekly to start with and then fortnightly or monthly depending on your progress or needs. In my experience people can see a huge benefit after 3 sessions. This is a good point for us to review your progress and for you to decide if you need any more sessions.
I would like to talk with a counsellor, but the idea frightens me.
Most people who want to attend counselling are nervous about doing so. They don't know what to expect and are fearful of the consequences. I have some insight into this as all registered B.A.C.P counsellors are required to have their own personal therapy before qualifying and have to be committed to on-going personal development work. My gentle and nurturing manner will quickly help you to relax so we can begin our work together. Counselling is nothing to fear as it is for your benefit and personal well being.
What can I expect from counselling?
Counselling is a two way relationship within clearly defined boundaries which keep both you and me safe. You can expect me to be professional at all times and to completely listen to you. I will reflect back to you what I am hearing/seeing/sensing to enable you to look more deeply at yourself. I will use counselling techniques and strategies to help you reach your chosen outcome. I will be open, honest and upfront with you.
How can I make the most of counselling?
Counselling is a relationship where therapist and client take equal responsibility for working on issues or toward chosen outcomes. 'How many counsellors does it take to change a lightbulb? It only takes one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.' You decide what you want to change and I will help you get there. We are both equally responsible for taking active roles to achieve your chosen outcome of therapy Many clients benefit from keeping a written personal journal or diary. This can help you to monitor your progress and clarify your own process. In this journal you could record any changes in your behaviour, thoughts or feelings. Keeping a journal will greatly assist you in reflection and this is an excellent tool for self development.
How can counselling help with bereavement?
Bereavement can be a devastating experience, where our whole world goes into turmoil. This is one of the most shocking or shattering experiences in life which can be difficult to negotiate. People who experience the death of a loved one can feel like they're going crazy and are swamped with strong emotions like anger, guilt, fear and sadness. The little things we used to find so easy can become a huge effort. People who care for us sometimes try to help by saying we should be over it by now. Bereavement is a unique experience to us all and there is no set time limit for grief. I have over 8 years experience within the field of bereavement in various roles such as counselling and group facilitation. I have worked with clients who have been bereaved through illness, homicide, suicide, the loss of a child, multiple losses, accidental & sudden death to highlight just some of my extensive experience. There are various models of grief which may help you. Although in my experience people benefit from being listened to and having their feelings witnessed by a trained listener. I will be authentic and human with you. I will not medicalise you or hide behind forms or techniques. Being bereaved is like going through a torrential storm - there's no way round it, but going through the storm of grief can help you begin to rebuild your life.
Tell me about couples counselling?
Couples therapy is very different from individual counselling. The main focus of therapy is on the relationship rather than the people within it. My interventions are based on helping couples to achieve better communication which helps the relationship to flourish. I will help you explore your communication patterns and how these impact on the fabric of your togetherness. Relationships progress through developmental stages which counselling can help you negotiate. I have a high success rate with couples and I find this work very rewarding. Not all relationships will flourish, some may end in separation, although actively attending counselling with a desire to change can be greatly helpful.
How can counselling help with anxiety?
Anxiety can manifest in various ways, it can affect how we think, behave, feel and how we relate to others. Heightened states of anxiety can result in panic attacks. These panic attacks may vary in intensity with symptoms which can include: a racing heart or pulse, shallow breath, perspiration, an impending feeling of doom, body tremours and loss of consciousness. Panic attacks can literally feel like the person is experiencing death. Counselling can help you to recognise triggers and develop strategies to better manage your anxiety. Counselling can also help you explore where these worries originate from, which may be from your childhood and assist you in permanent, long lasting change. I have completed extra training in transactional analysis psychotherapy which is more effective for this deep work.
What is the difference between a counsellor and a psychotherapist?
A psychotherapist will have a deeper level of training than a counsellor and has to meet much more stringent criteria. Currently to qualify as a counsellor with the BACP you are only required to have 10 hours personal therapy. A psychotherapist requires 160 hours of personal therapy from a suitably qualified experienced therapist. This is important when working at deeper levels with clients so the therapist can be much more objective and not get caught up in their own stuff, which could negatively impact on your therapy.
What is Transactional Analysis (TA)?
"TA is a personality theory and system for understanding human behaviour. It provides a great many techniques for alleviating distress and promoting growth and self-awareness as well as methods for improving interpersonal relationships. Most importantly, it is centrally concerned with helping people change their lives in significant ways." (Clarkson, P. 1992.)
Modern transactional analysis has combined aspects of Gestalt and Redecision therapies into it's way of working which make it a very powerful tool for quickly helping people.
Modern transactional analysis has combined aspects of Gestalt and Redecision therapies into it's way of working which make it a very powerful tool for quickly helping people.
What is the Person-Centred approach?
"It is not that this approach gives power to the person; it never takes it away." (Rogers, C. 1977.)
In short this is a way of actively listening to you with empathy, genuineness and respect which values your empowerment and individuality.
In short this is a way of actively listening to you with empathy, genuineness and respect which values your empowerment and individuality.
What is neuro-diversity?
Neuro-diversity is an umbrella term for a different wiring in the brain where information is processed differently than a neuro-typical brain. As there are more neuro-typicals than there are neuro-diverse people there can be a tyranny of normality where people pretend to fit in to the expected norms and social conventions from fear of seeming 'weird' or 'odd'. " The doorway to realising one's true self is simply self-expression. Once that can happen-whether it takes the form of writing, singing, dancing, doing sports, teaching, lecturing, playing a musical instrument, inventing things, all of these and more-a much more satisfying and mature growth process ensues." (Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism. Chapter 3 by ARtemisia 2018). Autism, Asperger's Syndrome and AD/HD are all examples of neuro-diversity. Modern thinking and research challenges old beliefs about autism. It is now established that there is an equal distribution of autism between genders, previously it was thought that this affected many more males than females. I have been personally trained by Peter Flowerdew PTSTA in working with people with autism and Asperger's syndrome. Peter has made a significant contribution in adapting transactional analysis for use with people who are neuro-diverse. Peter's theory helps to overcome 'mind blindness' (The lack of ability to read social situations). I regularly work with clients who are neuro-diverse and maintain contact with Peter Flowerdew through clinical supervision.